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Beach bum blueAnd I'm back.
Still angry. Still sad.
But hooked on a different rhythm.
Drowning in self pity and wishing for something different.
I won't ever tell you but I'm not happy.
I can't even smile. How...
I just want to relive it all. Never be adopted. Not be native.
Have ambition. Confidence. Motivation to be what you wanted.
It's incredibly difficult to forget and I'm sorry.
I Have ForgottenHow did we come to this?
Our adventures have become routine,
we no longer look for the enticing.
We sit at the table and eat our meals,
no jokes, or laughter.
We walk along the sidewalks,
not listening to each other as we tell out stories.
What has happened to our thirst for excitement?
To do things we normally wouldn't without each other?
We've become so accustomed to each other's company that now...
AccumulatingIf I could be a ray of light;
your ray of light,
I'd be everything I ever wanted.
I'd reflect across your window sill;
the old paint catching me in its curls
I could be your only hope in the dark hole you cry in.
To make you smile would be my only mission.
Except, I am yours.
I am your ray of light.
I'll always be there waiting for you to just look and laugh,
smile because you know that this is real.
All you need to do is say hello,
and I'll come running.
You are my soft snowfall,
my colored leaves,
my warm rain,
One New MesssageEvery cell in my body feels the pain.
Bruised thoughts, my tears are suffocating me in another bed that isn't mine.
My only wish is that I knew what was right,
to be the one to crumble in front of everybody.
Spontaneous actions are no longer exciting.
I'm more confused than ever before.
All I want is to be with you,
to sleep beneath those warm blankets.
Would you tell me if I was looking lonely?
Or if I was wrong in making my choices?
Don't forget I'll understand,
more than you'll ever know.
Take my hand and I'll pull you into the lake.
We can make sweet love to the water.
The waves crash violently against us,
sending us through the walls.
A Little Bit of Whipped CreamWe run through the grass
and stumble over our too-long jeans.
Grasshoppers move quickly out of our way,
and the little ants scurry back into their mountains.
We slowly roll to a stop and give ourselves a once over,
nothing broken or damaged, grass stains are memories.
I grab your hand and pull you to your feet,
Silently wishing we could stay like this forever.
I love our simple pleasures and the easy way we get along.
I love how no matter what, you accept me.
Breathe easy, and take a step back.
Look at how far we've come
and the memories we made.
Are you ready to leave it all behind?
Don't forget the late and early mornings,
filled with pancakes and birthday cake.
If you're ready to let go,
then do it.
But if you're not,
Just know that I'm right here to understand.
FrozenI don't know what it is about this boy,
but every time I think of him,
I close my eyes,
and wish for rain.
Can you stop talking?
I need to drown in this song,
just for a few minutes.
He keeps me spinning on this wheel of emotion,
my heart goes from hot to cold,
and all I really want is for somebody to hurt with me,
or to take away my hurt, just for a second.
Every time he says my name,
All I can think of is how much I need somebody.
In the night, I can think.
This is where
I find all the endings to my beginnings.
Work, Power, and EnergyI am so sick of you
thinking you know me.
Telling me things,
that somehow, I'm just like you.
I have a wall, and I won't ever cry,
no matter how many times you yell at me.
This, you say, was you.
We think the same,
we like the same things,
I'm as unbearably stubborn as you once were.
You think that now that you've been "enlightened",
that they've helped you open your eyes,
you can throw this shit at me.
Don't think for a second that I ever wanted to be like you.
Don't think that I ever will be anything like you.
I can only ever be the person I've created, which is me.
You know that, every time you tell me not to do something, I will do it.
Every time you say not to, I will.
Everything you say to me, I will take it as a challenge.
You say "You'll never change unless you let go."
I say "Watch me."
If Only I Were LonelyLet's get found by the water,
kissing our toes,
sending shivers through our legs.
The wind will gently blow the hair from my face,
will you lean in and put it back into place?
I'm only a memory,
except,I become more and more pressing as time rages on,
instead of being forgotten.
Skip a couple bridges,
snap to the beginning,
can we just keep tumbling?
You've lost the key to the door,
the door into my heart,
and it sucks that I never keep a spare.
If only I were lonely,
Maybe this could work.
If It's Love, I Wouldn't KnowIf I took a crack at being with you,
I'd be pretty broken up.
I just feel like cutting off all my skin
and putting some new stuff on and running into the ocean.
I've never shot for the moon or the stars,
but I've always wanted to be out of this world.
Everything sounds muffled, like I'm walking in a cotton ball world,
where every word is soft and quiet
and my mind is slow and foggy.
If I lie a moment longer,
I'll drown in my bed of tears.
I forgot what it felt like to feel,
to feel anything real.
He made me smile because it was polite.
I laughed because he smiled.
And I looked into his eyes because I wanted to know.
Where were we going, what were we doing, who are you?
Normally I wouldn't care but something didn't feel right.
I don't care about anything because then I didn't have to feel. If I don't feel, I don't hurt. If I don't love, I don't hurt.
But then...I could never feel love.
You can stretch and pull and break my heart,
but I have a feeling it's only going
Unable to loveMy love was pure
I only wanted
But my heart
Because my love
Like a piece of garbage
And now I'm unable
Because the shreds
Of my shattered soul
MathematicsI am but the sum of my
F L A W S;
a network of
S C A R S
a disaster of
D R E A M S
a shield of
B O N E S
C A L C U L A T I O N
a void of
to the girl i lose my words aroundi have been meaning to tell you for years:
i think you’re beautiful. i have
seen nothing on earth that holds a candle
to the ocean you carry inside your body.
it spills over your edges sometimes, like
a rain shower around you, blurring your penciled-in
lines until there is nothing left of you but your natural
cliffs, valleys, and deserts.
i like that.
i have never met someone who is, somehow,
a sea and a storm at the same time.
maybe i never will again.
maybe you are the only one
who gathers clouds on her forehead
like a promise, or feels the push and pull of the tide
with her every step.
you are beautiful, honestly.
you are honest, beautifully.
it is in the way you talk, the way you hold ice
on your tongue but forget to use it—
you always forget to use it, i don’t think
you know how.
to be truthful, i’m afraid of your smile
and how it breaks over me, how it pulls
me like a whirlpool down, how it pushes me
like a current back to the surface. i’m afraid of
Abuse Is Sometimes NecessaryPush and pull at her long hair, topple her to the solid ground,
elbow her sharply in the raw gut, shove her harshly around.
Scratch him in the pale face, punch him in the broken jaw,
do anything necessary to him that's considered breaking the law.
And when she cries because you've punched her, let her be,
and observe her when she returns to her habitual smoking.
When she passes out next day, because she's drunken too much booze,
slap her in the face once more, though many would consider it abuse.
When he can hardly walk because he thinks he's high in the clouds,
rip the needle out of his arm, and with your nails, slash him across the sweaty brow.
Grab them and shake them till their battered and bruised,
tear at their heart, scream in their ears until you've reached the point of verbal abuse.
And when she falls into your chest, and he collapses to the ground,
pull them closely, and whisper, “We can turn this all around.”
And rehab is a necessity for all of you, because you'v
ScienceI am more than my
F L A W S;
a masterpiece of
S C A R S
a delicacy of
D R E A M S
a sculpture of
B O N E S
R E A C T I O N
a well of
i am made of nights like theseativan boy, you cannot empty out this skull -
not with a pen nor with a bullet. you can
be my hallowed head(case) for spitting out
words like teeth; oh, but i will only love you
when you're weary. i will keep crows caged
between your lungs like veins, like palpitations.
i will rot you through bones & car radios,
but i will never get (you) out of your skin.
Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)
I hope the title caught your eye,
because this is about you.
Many of us speak in superlatives
and ambiguous language.
In imagery-laden text masquerading
underneath double entendres
keeping us from a part of the truth.
But purple streaks and red bands,
harp strings and soft hands
don't begin to explain
the love I have for you.
So I lay these words down
simple in its vulnerability,
blemished and raw in its purity.
The term lissome fits you in many ways,
but not necessarily it its textbook form.
I speak on the part that is not readily seen
but what is easily most cogent.
Your consciousness' cognizance
is graceful in the way
you fold one syllable over
another, supple in its meaning
that can take many forms
going from idle lies
to how we idolize hollow eyes
and uncovered hip bones.
Elegance is an understatement,
but I refuse to speak in cliche superlatives.
I speak honestly
but not with exaggerated grandeur.
Because your immediate app
now i see the stars.there was a time when i
couldn't catch my breath whenever i
thought about you , (crippled lungs and-
boy, you hit me like an asteroid,
there's a crater on my chest now that I can't ever seem to fill,
oceans of my tears cried on
nights when you couldn't be there to sing me to sleep.
thirty two poemless days after you joined the constellations,
i walked out into the yard and howled to the empty sky,
for a moment i was Gaea, rivers running down my cheeks,
weighted to the ground and
buried in myself, but
where there is no light there are no shadows, and
sometimes, i wonder if i miss me.
yes, i do.
i may not see the moon, but
A broken heartI promised myself I'll never fall in love
Whenever I fall in love I feel renewed and happy
But like a drug
Once everything finishes
I'm crying, depressed and the wreckage of my heart
I always end up feeling worse
I want to find someone that is special
But I'm afraid to suffer again
I'm afraid of losing another person
Do not want to suffer
Do not make me suffer, do not lie to me
Do not hurt me, no more
I will not hold on to people who only sink me
I'll be free and live with have left
A cold and lonely spirit.
Atlantic DreamEvery muscle in my body contracts with pleasure when I think of you.
I want to dance.
I smile and giggle,
my eyes roll far into the back of my head in ecstasy.
I start to shake and I know that
It's you that I want.
Every time you smile, I can see the lines around your lips as if you don't do it often.
You look deep into my eyes,
and I can only look back for a moment before my shy side
makes me to look away.
My voice goes soft and quiet,
I don't know what to say without being myself.
I don't even know you.
Why am I still hooked on you?
Every time I think I have an idea,
Every time I talk to you,
you laugh and smile more.
You're soft with me,
not loud or obnoxious.
And each time I think I might have you,
You twist away hastily in an act of strength,
making me look weak.
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