|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
Beach bum blueAnd I'm back.
Still angry. Still sad.
But hooked on a different rhythm.
Drowning in self pity and wishing for something different.
I won't ever tell you but I'm not happy.
I can't even smile. How...
I just want to relive it all. Never be adopted. Not be native.
Have ambition. Confidence. Motivation to be what you wanted.
It's incredibly difficult to forget and I'm sorry.
I Have ForgottenHow did we come to this?
Our adventures have become routine,
we no longer look for the enticing.
We sit at the table and eat our meals,
no jokes, or laughter.
We walk along the sidewalks,
not listening to each other as we tell out stories.
What has happened to our thirst for excitement?
To do things we normally wouldn't without each other?
We've become so accustomed to each other's company that now...
AccumulatingIf I could be a ray of light;
your ray of light,
I'd be everything I ever wanted.
I'd reflect across your window sill;
the old paint catching me in its curls
I could be your only hope in the dark hole you cry in.
To make you smile would be my only mission.
Except, I am yours.
I am your ray of light.
I'll always be there waiting for you to just look and laugh,
smile because you know that this is real.
All you need to do is say hello,
and I'll come running.
You are my soft snowfall,
my colored leaves,
my warm rain,
One New MesssageEvery cell in my body feels the pain.
Bruised thoughts, my tears are suffocating me in another bed that isn't mine.
My only wish is that I knew what was right,
to be the one to crumble in front of everybody.
Spontaneous actions are no longer exciting.
I'm more confused than ever before.
All I want is to be with you,
to sleep beneath those warm blankets.
Would you tell me if I was looking lonely?
Or if I was wrong in making my choices?
Don't forget I'll understand,
more than you'll ever know.
Take my hand and I'll pull you into the lake.
We can make sweet love to the water.
The waves crash violently against us,
sending us through the walls.
A Little Bit of Whipped CreamWe run through the grass
and stumble over our too-long jeans.
Grasshoppers move quickly out of our way,
and the little ants scurry back into their mountains.
We slowly roll to a stop and give ourselves a once over,
nothing broken or damaged, grass stains are memories.
I grab your hand and pull you to your feet,
Silently wishing we could stay like this forever.
I love our simple pleasures and the easy way we get along.
I love how no matter what, you accept me.
Breathe easy, and take a step back.
Look at how far we've come
and the memories we made.
Are you ready to leave it all behind?
Don't forget the late and early mornings,
filled with pancakes and birthday cake.
If you're ready to let go,
then do it.
But if you're not,
Just know that I'm right here to understand.
FrozenI don't know what it is about this boy,
but every time I think of him,
I close my eyes,
and wish for rain.
Can you stop talking?
I need to drown in this song,
just for a few minutes.
He keeps me spinning on this wheel of emotion,
my heart goes from hot to cold,
and all I really want is for somebody to hurt with me,
or to take away my hurt, just for a second.
Every time he says my name,
All I can think of is how much I need somebody.
In the night, I can think.
This is where
I find all the endings to my beginnings.
Work, Power, and EnergyI am so sick of you
thinking you know me.
Telling me things,
that somehow, I'm just like you.
I have a wall, and I won't ever cry,
no matter how many times you yell at me.
This, you say, was you.
We think the same,
we like the same things,
I'm as unbearably stubborn as you once were.
You think that now that you've been "enlightened",
that they've helped you open your eyes,
you can throw this shit at me.
Don't think for a second that I ever wanted to be like you.
Don't think that I ever will be anything like you.
I can only ever be the person I've created, which is me.
You know that, every time you tell me not to do something, I will do it.
Every time you say not to, I will.
Everything you say to me, I will take it as a challenge.
You say "You'll never change unless you let go."
I say "Watch me."
If Only I Were LonelyLet's get found by the water,
kissing our toes,
sending shivers through our legs.
The wind will gently blow the hair from my face,
will you lean in and put it back into place?
I'm only a memory,
except,I become more and more pressing as time rages on,
instead of being forgotten.
Skip a couple bridges,
snap to the beginning,
can we just keep tumbling?
You've lost the key to the door,
the door into my heart,
and it sucks that I never keep a spare.
If only I were lonely,
Maybe this could work.
If It's Love, I Wouldn't KnowIf I took a crack at being with you,
I'd be pretty broken up.
I just feel like cutting off all my skin
and putting some new stuff on and running into the ocean.
I've never shot for the moon or the stars,
but I've always wanted to be out of this world.
Everything sounds muffled, like I'm walking in a cotton ball world,
where every word is soft and quiet
and my mind is slow and foggy.
If I lie a moment longer,
I'll drown in my bed of tears.
I forgot what it felt like to feel,
to feel anything real.
He made me smile because it was polite.
I laughed because he smiled.
And I looked into his eyes because I wanted to know.
Where were we going, what were we doing, who are you?
Normally I wouldn't care but something didn't feel right.
I don't care about anything because then I didn't have to feel. If I don't feel, I don't hurt. If I don't love, I don't hurt.
But then...I could never feel love.
You can stretch and pull and break my heart,
but I have a feeling it's only going
Mental Disorder Discrimination"You said you've got depression?
No you don't, you attention seeker.
You're just an average teenager with the perfect life
Desperately looking for sympathy."
Stop crying, you coward.
You're just a childish "scaredy-cat".
Blaming your problems on a mental disorder
That doesn't even exist."
"So you're schizophrenic?
Grow the hell up, and stop acting like a child
You're too old for imaginary friends
You callow, juvenile, little twit."
But if we're attention seekers,
Why do we try so hard to hide our feelings from the world?
Why do we isolate ourselves in our rooms,
Desperately hiding the cuts on our wrists
Trying our best to live a normal life?
And if we're simply "scaredy-cats",
Why is our fear so vividly intense?
Unlike simple fear, our anxiety will stick with us forever
A severe long-lasting feeling of powerful panic.
A feeling from which we'll never be free.
Suddenly we're childish for having a mental disorder?
Schizophrenia is not something we can control.
YouIf you’re a girl, you’re a girl.
If you’re a boy, you’re a boy.
If you’re white, you’re white.
If you’re black, you’re black.
If you’re gay, you’re gay.
If you’re bi, you’re bi.
If you’re straight, you’re straight.
If you’re religious, you’re religious.
If you’re an atheist, you’re an atheist.
If you’re mentally disabled, you’re still human.
If you’re physically disabled, you’re still human.
For everything you are:
So who are they to judge you for who you are?
to me you are perfect
I do not know the reasons
for all those scars burning
against your bright skin
you've been soaking
a pain reminiscing from past
we both cannot recollect
yet you are so beautiful..
when night gets darker
and I am the one...
who's hungered to undress
the spirit of you
slowly revealing the layers
coming off from shadows
disguised in desires
craving to be fulfilled
I will caress every corner
of your silhouette
until I figure the true shape
of your heart
I will rub those blisters
softly until every nerve
of you gushes into a river
and you moan into a life
I had promised you
years ago when we began
to breathe into each other
for all the truths
I must swallow
and lessons I must learn
you are the one
I am destined to discover
what it means
to love in perfection
PainParalized by the suffering
A shiver down my spine
Images of my past haunt me
No one can save me from this hell
i can't keep walking on these dry-rot bonesoh, i am not a poet;
like the ink scratches
of plath, i am
specter boy: decay,
dispose, & disappoint
because this is the way
that writers wane -
(this hangman head is no
survivor story, & gods
do not burn out
daydreams and monsters.she was a girl.
she ran with the moon,
chased fireflies in the bluegrass, and
watched the reflection of sunsets in rain puddles.
her name was Alice,
and she was a girl.
but to the dragonflies she was a queen,
and to the mirror she was a sister.
the moon was her prince, and the
blinking windows were the eyes
that kept her safe.
she spent her nights making wishes, and she
dragged her fingers along the shooting stars
that were tangled with her vertebrae.
her name was Alice,
and she was a girl.
her body was a river
her mind was an ocean
and her heart was the sky.
she lived in a world where
doves flew in the sea and
whales swam in the
Atlantic DreamEvery muscle in my body contracts with pleasure when I think of you.
I want to dance.
I smile and giggle,
my eyes roll far into the back of my head in ecstasy.
I start to shake and I know that
It's you that I want.
Every time you smile, I can see the lines around your lips as if you don't do it often.
You look deep into my eyes,
and I can only look back for a moment before my shy side
makes me to look away.
My voice goes soft and quiet,
I don't know what to say without being myself.
I don't even know you.
Why am I still hooked on you?
Every time I think I have an idea,
Every time I talk to you,
you laugh and smile more.
You're soft with me,
not loud or obnoxious.
And each time I think I might have you,
You twist away hastily in an act of strength,
making me look weak.
Keep in Touch!
Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More